i wish the morning ends the way it began

generally, i should feel like crap today. here's a few on my list of things to feel crappy about:

• i was greeted good morning by cat sh*t today before i took a bath. it really was poop and it smelled like a baby's dirty diaper covered with lapsed milk. was it a sign of what the day would bring? i sure didn't think so.

• even before that cat poop incident, i had shooting pain all over my right arm. from my hand to the back of my shoulder. it felt like sh*t really. it's like having a heart attack only it's attacking your right arm. and it had these big stings all over it, like it was bitten by a bug or something. and it's numb, up to now.

• then, i learned that the laundry hasn't been made yet so i can't wear the shirt i wanted to wear. i wanted to wear something that would cover up my right arm. unfortunately, the whole world will notice how my bulging biceps looks different than a normal one.

• the night before, i received a message from someone which gave hints of getting back together. i'm not taking it seriously yet. i'm not even thinking about it. but now that i'm writing about it, my mind is literally in a maze. i mean, i still have feelings for her but my problem is maintaining those feelings. i don't even know if i'm benefiting from going back - i don't feel it.

anyway, for those reasons alone, i should've called work and faked a fever right? i didn't. i was actually excited to go to work. and i don't know why. people were acting like pr*cks but i didn't seem to care too much, i still had a smile on my face. i wanted to laugh them off. everything felt perfectly normal for me, like nothing bad is happening or as if i was a child again. in my head, nothing was going wrong.

but that all changed in a sudden. i feel like i just got home from a long long long walk, and i just want to sleep my problems away. problem is i couldn't sleep. but still, i just want to lie down and pretend it's morning again and i just woke up.